This happened a few years ago, I was a newly hired as a part-time college instructor in one university somewhere in the Metro Manila. I was a young guy just fresh from the intricacies of corporate world and had recently completely at least 33 units of graduate studies in one of the top university in the country. I was looking positive in this new job of imparting and teaching something for my students and
incorporating some of my knowledge gain from my years of experience with
the company..
Optimism was on my side and I felt totally nervous on my first day of classes. I was given a class of 44 college student and on the first day of classes I sat on one of the student's chair. Waiting for the class to come and was so excited about it. On that occasion they were waiting for their instructor not knowing that I am the instructor because they were mostly not wearing their uniforms and most of the are on their civilian outfit. I was silently laughing pretending I was just a transferee student or irregular student from their block section sitting at the farther back of the class chairs. They were talking and laughing till I decided to take over and stood up. It felt like the scene from Catch Me If You movie (2002) minus the pushing and the old woman berating me and being the substitute teacher. See below:
As I introduced myself some of the ladies are giggling and some of the other guys in class are disinterested or not paying attention at all. The geek type are studious to hear me speak.
I told them that you will be seeing me for the next 5 months at school and we will meet every morning from 7:00 am to 10:00 am on Tuesdays and Fridays. I discussed everything to them the topics and other things to read such as the books they need to read etc.
Impromptu became natural with me talking to all the students especially the ladies. I never thought that some of the ladies would come to me asking for assistance on their next topics or the books they or the subject which kind of complicated at times. I am holding myself with those negative thoughts of meeting them intimately but likewise I was thinking of teaching career with be over if someone found out that I am in a relationship of another kind with my students.
Let's call her Reyna. I met her on my first year as her class instructor then. She was oriental looking type of girl with her a bit of Chinese features. She was 5 foot 2 inches, white complexion and had a long black hair. I instantly got attracted with her but to my dismay she is 17 years of age turning 18 and I am almost half her age - I was 27 then and was in a relationship with her high school sweetheart. I know I am an older guy in her standards but still young folks thought I was an older college kid or a 4th yr college boy. At one, I got to know her a little bit, she visited me at the faculty room and was asking how to get better grades on her subject I told her some pointers on how to do it but I do dirty thoughts on my mind that I can never relish unto her which could lead me to being fired from work. I never gave her my cellphone number but she manages to get my information from their class president or leader. Sometimes I felt annoyed with her giggles with her friends and classmates that I was being subject or scrutiny at class.
We sent each other corny quotes that led into the love quotes even if I am slowly feeling infatuated with her. I never thought I will fall in love with a very young girl who is almost half my age. She was a dream girl for me. She manages to muster the courage to tell me that she is beginning to like me as well at one time at the school canteen. As a more mature guy, I know the trappings of this being capture instantly with her charms. I am wise enough not to venture into this so called love thing of her ploy because possible implication of losing my job at this fine educational institution could happen because I am probationary instructor.
Alas, I stopped texting her and doing such things to her just to get off her mind. One day, she was in a state of panic she called me on her phone and was asking for assistance on her professional subject. I obliged in a professional manner not to draw attention with her classmates and my peers. I really know that nothing happened between us either sexually just plain talk. She mentioned to me it was really a one of those college subject but more of a matter's of the heart. I learned that she got broke off with her boyfriend from another school and that she needed an advice from a more mature guy like me. As a friend, I gave her what I am think about it. She confessed on me that there was a problem with her ex-boyfriend whom she found out was seeing another girl in their school and also another information that I felt uncomfortable but at least got me excited that she also has a big crush on me. I blushed on learning the fact that one hot lady would have a crush on me. I am really NOT the Channing Tatum looking guy. Just an average looking Joe who just happened to be sweet and is a cool person to be with.
After that semester ended, we parted ways with Ms. Reyna. I told her I will be here for her as a friend and confidante even in reality I have hidden desire for her. Eventually, I got to know more of her intimately when she was on her junior year when she invited me to her 19th birthday with my ex-students I tag along one of my associates the who was also a instructor then to be at the party at her apartment. I felt really happy on her accomplishments and how she managed her life. She whispered to me "I am so glad you are here, Sir".
I felt a little bit uncomfortable with her on saying that thing to me in public with lots of people chanting and saying Reyna "Pagkakataon mo na kiss mo si Sir". She kissed me on the cheek and said "Uy, kiniss niya si Sir". I just laughed and felt awkward being kissed in the public.
After that event she was finally sending me more intimate text message about love etc. One day, she invited me on a date on one Saturday afternoon a week after the final examination. We did what most couples do, dine, watch movie, talk etc until we were then unofficial inseparable with each other for almost 4 months. We hid everything, our relationship from other people especially the school where I used to worked with and her friends and mine as well.
An intervention happened one day when we have a disastrous thing happened to us. When they saw a photo of me with her on one resto at Facebook and Friendster account and someone from the former class found out about it. I told them it was used for posterity measure and nothing intimate was happening and this was taken a year and half ago. I was instantly reported by some of my co-workers and got reprimanded by the Dean, personnel officer about this and was given a warning. I vehemently denied everything.
I told Reyna, we don't need to rush it out and to stop posting from her Facebook account and we agreed to stop seeing each other for temporarily. She said, I just mistakenly forgot to remove this and apologized not to happen again or she just intentionally put the photos to brag about me and her the two of us together? I told her I got nothing to hide from you, about myself and even you know I am single and I am in a relationship with you. To be frank, my career is at stake here and you are still a current student of this school and I can't let this happen to the two of us when we could be removed me being fired and you being expelled from school. She was crying when I was scolding her. I also felt the jealousy in our relationship. She was a very friendly girl and sometimes I am not amused with her antics even I told her in a mild manner to lessen it a little bit.
Deep inside, I am a mad with her putting my career at the firing line. I am so stressed and not amused and have been contemplating of resigning from my teaching post and return to the corporate field full-time. It dawned on me that I am wasting her young life and asking myself what I have done to deserve her like this. I am not sure if she really is in love with me or just she is just playing me out? What a Herculean task of juggling around relationship and career with a girl who has not fully blossomed to maturity and her understanding is not that equivocal with men my age even if they looked upon as mature men as independent guys who can stand alone on their own - SUPERMEN.
I felt so saddened when I decided to break her heart with those words that it will be good for us to part ways on our fourth month. We both got confused and got traumatized with that crisis when her parents intervened also. I decided to quit my post just to stop the rumors of me using my influence on her studies and our previous relationship.
This year, I sent her congratulations message on her Facebook account after her graduation last April. She has bloomed and change a lot in many ways. She found love with her new boyfriend who is three years her senior and works in the corporate world just like me. I apologized to her that I have no regrets in meeting her and we both had our closure and compromise. I felt happy she moved on even if I am what might have or could have happened between us today or in the future.
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